In How to Be an AntiRacist, Ibram X Kendi explains “The face of ethnic racism bares itself in the form of a persistent question: “Where are you from?” At face value the question is an innocent and rather trivial one, usually met with the name of a certain town, city or state. For non-people of color, this question may seem harmless or perhaps has never been asked, but for people of color, the query can become an awkward, uncomfortable and hurtful interaction. Once the questioner finds out where you are from, they may cease to continue asking, or may choose to press you for further details. I would identify this as the turning point between having the question pass as an innocent one or having it turn into something more questionable. Usually the questioner may ask “ Where are you really from?” or perhaps a more subtle “Where are your parents from?” It is clear now that they are not interested where you live or where you grew up, but are trying to pry your heritage and the birthplace of your ancestors. This question marks you as an outsider, someone from another country or continent, an exotic object of curiosity. Ibram X Kendi shares a valuable insight on this matter through his personal experience. Kendi grew up in Queens, New York, and yet when he answered the question “where are you from” that response was not enough for a colleague of his. They then went on to ask where his parents were from, and when he responded that both his mother and father's families were from the United States, Kendi describes how the questioner froze up in confusion. “When I add, ‘I am a descendant of enslaved African in the United States,’ the questions cease” (Kendi 63). It is clear that this person was not interested in where Kendi lived or where he grew up, but rather was searching for where he may have “come from,” as an outsider.
While all people must be aware of differences and experiences of those around them, it is those who occupy a place of privilege, that must put in extra effort to understand and respect the experiences of minorities around them. In many cases your words can have greater impact and greater repercussions as they come from a place of privilege and power, so be careful in how you use them and who you use them with. Certain questions and scenarios such as the one explained by Kendi may seem harmless in your eyes and in the eyes of those in privilege, but their meaning can quickly change from an innocent query, to a loaded interaction depending on who you are talking to, their experiences, and their ancestors’ history.
Citations
Kendi, Ibram X.How to be an Antiracist. One World, 2019.